Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like You have loved me Break my heart for what breaks Yours Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause As I walk from earth into eternity   Brooke Fraser (Hillsongs Publishing)   I came to Geylang to find The King; instead I found the kingdom which I dont quite like simply cos the kingdom didnt come with the King!   Is this perhaps what it means that I win the whole world but lose my soul?  Is this what perhaps it means that the kingdom doesnt really bring me joy, only The King would ... only The King can ... only The King will ...   I am reminded of the song - I started a joke, that caused the whole world laughing ... yet now, i feel I have become the joke ... I boasted about a sold out life that would live only for Jesus; yet, now I wonder yet again if this is possible - perhaps what XJ's blog says is right - detachment and freedom ... do I dare to walk this journey of leaving everything to find The King ... I think I really have no choice ... I think the most frightening part is that it comes with a cost - and the cost is called true love ... unconditional love!  A LOVE THAT DESIRES TO LAY DOWN EVERYTHING ... hmmm, herein lies the problem!