Nov last year someone told me that we needed to find our identity before we can work or partner each other. last week, something very small triggered a huge emotion in me. i think the Lord was showing me that He was shaking away all my securities and that unless my identity is in Jesus, i would be ridiculously weird. holding onto a $100 type party when i am called to organised $100,000 parties! not that the $100 type party is unimportant but i guess its just ridiculous that i would be hurt or sidelined that others took over.
i guess it all comes down to where our hearts and identities are. last friday we talked about this in our worship session - that aon needs to change our identity to become Geylang's Wanted Church/List/Treasure/ People. this simply means that if we can root and ground our identity in Jesus, then the ministry and the building becomes unnecessary! what is now necessary is that we are children of Abba Father, the bride to Jesus and the friend to the Holy Spirit. long short of it is that our identity is truly in God!
i guess when this happens, then it will become so easy for us to slip in and out of our comfort zone and just become whatever the other ministry requires of us to be. meaning that when i visit one thing ministry, i will do harp and bowl. when i visit healthserve, i will be their silent partner and friend. when i am in okios fellowship, i will pray for the revival and the prostitutes... and when i return to aon, i will be this weak child of the father who is always in trouble yet who knows that its ok cos Father God accepts and delights in me, even in my weakness!
i am glad the old season has ended. i am glad aon is now dying and will soon be dead yet, i believe the Lord's re-opening us with a new chapter where we will be so secured that we will know know know that we are part of God's wanted list! yes, we are the geylang wanted church / list / treasure / folks / people.
so for me, i guess the Lord is showing me that even in my darkness, yet He finds me lovely! (song of songs chapter 1)... so my prayer is that i / we may truly find our identity in Jesus. when that happens, i guess i / we will be truly happy.
my spiritual parents mothers are right ! all of them said the same thing (strangely even the same words) .... that this is the season for me to return to the father's house (haha in chinese whenever there's a huge fight or disappointment, the bride returns to the father's house for comfort) to let them pamper me and to heal my broken wings. so i guess this season for me its back to psalm 91 and perhaps also spending time in singapore house of prayer just ministering to God in the dark hours when the night seasons hit hardest!
sl
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